Thanks

First off, a huge thankyou to all who have kept our family and others in need, in their thoughts and prayers. I know many sent the newsletter to people they knew who were going through a difficult time.

For Kerry, the surgery was successful and the results very positive in terms of treatment options. It’s now a matter of deciding what to do, as well as doing all we can to aid the healing process.

I’ve put up two new things on the Free Wellbeing Program. One a power point I recently used at a presentation to the Australian Institute of Management in Brisbane. The other is a Stress and Wellbeing Assessment tool. Check them out here.

Gender Differences in Stress and Wellbeing

Are their gender differences in stress and wellbeing? Well there certainly was in my research.

In my research for both business owners and workers in the helping industries, women indicated higher levels of stress, and significantly less wellbeing.  Women in the helping industries reported the highest stress and lowest experiences of wellbeing.

It seems that this is supported elsewhere. Here’s some interesting studies that I’ve found. Sure to spark some debate and discussion.

Stress Response 
You have probably heard of the fight or flight stress response. There’s another one that women seem to have more than men and it’s called Tend and Befriend.

What happens in Tend and Befriend is that when faced with stress you seek to nurture others and you seek out social support, predominately with other women. It seems that this is linked to genetic and  hormone differences.

Stress Arousal
Men’s autonomic arousal shows a marked decline upon returning home after a work day; women’s autonomic arousal remains elevated long into the evening – in some studies, decline does not begin until 10 P.M.

Happiness
Over the last forty years, women have become less happy than they were, and less happy than men.

As women grow older they gradually become less satisfied with all aspects of life. By contrast, men’s satisfaction increases with age.

Women’s daily levels of stress are higher now than they were forty years ago, and adding more free time does little to lessen these feelings of stress. According to a 25 year study each extra hour of free time doubles a man’s feelings of relaxation, but does nothing for a woman’s.
(research cited in Find Your Strongest Life – Marcus Buchanan)

Gratitude
A study found that women have more grateful dispositions than men and benefit more from acts of gratitude. Those who actively utilized gratitude in their life had greater wellbeing.

Support
Men’s main source of support was their partner, whilst women had a wider support network, often with other women.

What do you think?  Do men have different ways of showing stress that isn’t being picked up? Do the studies accurately reflect what’s out there in the general population? Why do women tend to take longer to wind down?

Peter

Heart and Soul Coaching helps you to be clearer, stronger, and better in yourself, so you can travel life well, and function at your best in your life and work.

My Prayer

Lots of people I have spoken to in the last couple of weeks have been doing it tough.

In different amounts and at different levels, but all feeling the challenges and the pain that life brings.

People I know are experiencing illnesses, being worn out, difficult situations in families or at work, feeling trapped, or down, or that nothing will change, or that everything is changing – and lots of other things.

For so many people there is no easy answer or a solution at this time, and things are just having to be travelled, with new ways of being and acceptance having to be found.

As you may have noticed things have been a bit quiet at this end, and that’s because our family has also been challenged, my wife going into hospital on Tuesday to have surgery for breast cancer. We are grateful that it was found early.

This is my prayer to all those going through something difficult. I hope you join with me in sending out love and light to those you know who are needing it, and receive generously if you are in need.

My Prayer
May you travel well along the rocky road of life, to destinations that you can’t always know. At times it is to where you fear, and to places you would rather not be.

At all times may you be held in love as you travel. May you know comfort and may you know the light that heals and transforms in the midst of the pain and fear, and within the hard slog that life can be.

May you be held safe. and know times of rest and shelter, as well as times of love and laughter.

And may you forever be drawn to the fullness of who you are and come to understand more of the living light that is within you.

Peace, love and joy which is beyond all words and understanding resides deep in your heart.

Sending love, light and holding to all those doing it tough

Peter

The leave a comment see below

 Recently I went to one of the best inspirational talks I can remember. It really moved me, at times nearly to tears. and it made me want to try harder, to do things differently. I was inspired…..until I walked outside to my car.

Then real life, everyday life, started to kick in. ‘What did I have to buy to make dinner? Was I on time to pick up my son from school?’ As I walked from the venue I could noticeably feel the effects of the speaker wearing off. And I knew if I didn’t consciously do something, the value I gained from the talk would fade. I would be left with a nice memory, but little more.

Everyday life is there, it’s reality, but somehow we need to keep the flame of our inspiration alive. And to do this we need to make an active and conscious choice.

We have to feed and tend our inspiration and passion if it is to activate our heart and soul, and for it to work its magic in our life and work. It is then our life, our work, and our business, comes alive.

So this is my list of what’s needed to keep inspiration alive.

• Write it down. You wouldn’t believe how many fantastic ideas people have that they are sure they’ll remember, only to have them fade away to who knows where. Writing helps make things ‘solid’ in your awareness.
• Time to be still each day. Time doing nothing. Time to stop and just ‘be’. It doesn’t have to be for long.
• Listen to it. Sometimes we poke and prod and want to make things happen so much that we don’t listen to what it needs to take shape and evolve. Just as we can listen to another person, we can listen to what inspires us.
• Other people, and other ideas to keep feeding the things that inspire you. Your own little cocoon just isn’t enough
• Give it air play. Think about it, tell others, remember it, dream about it.
• Apply it in your life. In some way make it real in your life. You want it to make a positive difference in everyday life.
• Keep faith and focus even when you don’t feel inspired. The feeling of inspiration comes and goes and some days its just not there. Sometimes it just seems like hard work, especially when things aren’t turning out well. This is the time to take care of yourself and learn from what’s going on so your life can be deeper, richer and more real.

So what is inspiring you, and how do you keep what’s important alive in your heart?

Peter

To leave and read comments the link is under the heading above!

Firstly I want you to know that I get it. Sometimes there is too much going on, the timing is not right, and you are not in the right space to take advantage of what’s there, even if it would be helpful. So what can you do?

Here are my top 5 tips. They are all based on research and they work. It’s handy to know why, but leave that for later. For now, where you are at this stage, I recommend that you just do them.  Just do the ones that seem best, as much as you can.

1. Think Damage Control – Use this to filter your behaviour. There might be a cost to how things are, and you might not always do the best thing for yourself, but do what you can to limit the damage.

2. Step Back – Step Back, Take a breath, ease the tension out from your shoulders, neck and face, ease out the emotional tension and the ‘holding tight’, and just pause for a moment. Feel the difference? Doing this regularly helps you not get so caught up in what’s happening.

3. Feel Good – at least 3 times a Day. It’s the small moments of feeling good that are important here, eg, when you see a nice sunset, someone smiles at you, when you are nice to someone, when you feel good for ticking something off your list…you get the picture. Often the opportunities are there but we don’t notice them or are so caught up in things we forget to feel them. If you can’t feel them,check out the June Newsletter on the web for some ideas.

4. Go Outside – For 10 minutes a day. Fresh air and spaciousness are good, and help to clear the mind. Strolling or walking works for many people, and just sitting works for others.

5. Think kindly towards yourself. People are often are hard on themselves, and have limited ways to look after themselves. View yourself with kindness and empathy, no matter what your thoughts are, and what space you are in…yes, even if you are being hard on yourself.

So what’s your tips and thoughts, what are you up to in your journey forward, what things are you doing? Add your comments and see what others have said by clicking ‘reply’ just below the heading.

Peter

Imagine a life of Wellbeing. What would it be like? What would you want less of in your life? What would you want more of?

For many people, imagining is as far as it gets. They hope that wellbeing will come when some outside circumstance changes—when they get that new job, a new year comes, they win lotto, their wife, kids, or work colleagues change.

Positive emotions
Unfortunately even if we get these things, after not too long our wellbeing returns to where it was. After a while we give up trying because it all gets too hard and just accept the wellbeing we have.

It doesn’t have to be like this. There are simple things we can do to build wellbeing for ourselves now. And as wellbeing builds it gives us the ‘wherewithal’ to do those other things that are good for us.

Barbara Frederickson, as outlined in her book Positivity has shown that there’s a tipping point in wellbeing that takes your life from good, to flourishing. Her research shows that it has to do with the ratio of positive heartfelt emotions to negative emotions. The magic number is 3:1, we need at least 3 times more of the positive than the negative. It means we need to be proactive!

One of the keys to making this work is that the positive emotions need to be heartfelt. If they are not heartfelt, it doesn’t have the same effect. At the heart of wellbeing is our heart connection.

So how do we increase these heartfelt positive experiences?

Savour the Positive! Often we miss them or don’t give them enough attention. Below are some simple things that you can do .

• Notice and savour them.
• Let them sink in
• Remember and appreciate them during the day
• Share them by telling others
• Write them down
• Make a list at the end of the day

.Accumulating small positive experiences throughout your day builds a solid base for wellbeing, and you will begin to notice the difference. So savour and enjoy that cup of coffee, that nice interaction with someone, a smile, something of beauty